Saturday 8 October 2016

Sales Pitch: Life Insurance for Hookers





I’m a big proponent of treating whores like people. Why? I don’t know. I just have a soft spot for lot lizards, streetwalkers, trick turners, bawds, nymphos, backsliders, croquets, knob-polishers and whathaveyous. I guess the sympathy stems from the fact that I genuinely see myself being in their shoes hooker heels, I love sex and I love money. I’d want Uncle Kraker to be my pimp. He’d sing you won’t find nobody like meas he proceeded to bitch slap me for spending my loonies on a sniff of glue. In the end I can’t get wet for betas with whiskey dick, no matter how hard I try; I guess being a doctor/doctor of philosophy will just have to suffice.
Putting all jokes aside, human trafficking is one of my pet projects. I find the concept interesting. The idea of modern-day slavery is sad to me, I want be the only one allowed to own people :(
I can be surrounded by the most brilliant men and women every day, curing everything from ass cancer to making machines move literally with their minds (ie. brain impulses), yet girls in my city are being sold for $50-80 a night at the age of 13. That’s gross. It doesn’t sit right with me.
So, I was watching Pussycat Dolls music videos while painting my friend’s portrait and this idea came to me. If the government won’t fully legalize prostitution I think we should have a comprehensive insurance to protect said whores from their johns and clientele. Regulating prostitution is the best way to prevent from young women and men from being abused for werkin’ dem dicks.
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Your goods and services are valuable so make sure you have the right coverage that leaves nothing to the imagination.
Government of Canada has allowed the selling of sexual services but prevented the purchase of them, this is a good baby-step but we need more, and more comprehensive protection for people in all labour fields. If porn is legal, then prostitution should be as well. Come on people this is common sense. One little issue that would disappear if someone, just once, would fucking LISTEN TO ME.
I want to be clear… if you’re a man who rents hookers I definitely think you’re a loser. But I care about you, whores, and so does Bill Clinton <3

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